Playing Possum

If I were trying to feign a mysterious medical condition to deflect responsibility from speeding through a red light and totaling another vehicle, I might be able to ignore the sternal rub. I seriously doubt that I could fake sleep through the 14g IV insertion. But I am certain that a 22g foley catheter (aka garden hose) inserted into my penis would make me jump off the stretcher.

Props to you, desperate fakeur, for merely flinching.