How Not to Get a Blanket

Wondering how to make sure you never get that blanket you've been asking for? Just follow these quick, easy steps:

Step 1: Yell, loudly, "Hey asshole... get me a blanket!"

Step 2: Threaten to attack ER staff members if you ever encounter them outside the hospital.

Step 3: Shout louder, with an increased variety of obscenities, racial slurs, and disparaging remarks about sexual orientations.

Step 4: Throw the orange from your box lunch at a nurse while jumping off the stretcher.

That's all it takes! Simply stick to this patented, can't lose technique and you, too, can ensure that you won't receive a nice warm blanket.

We'll even throw in the restraints for free.