Thursday, July 24, 2008

Don'ts Of The Week

Selected highlights of the past few days:

DON'T take PCP.  Unless you enjoy ending up in four-point restraints naked while shitting yourself.

DON'T go boogie boarding if you're over 40.  Unless you want to be flown in by helicopter from the next state over because you have an L4 fracture.

DON'T get in the way of a moving forklift.  Unless you want to be run over and see your tibia from the outside.

And finally,

DON'T masturbate.  At least not so many times a day that you start getting headaches bad enough to bring you into the ER... unless you want everyone laughing at you from outside the curtain.

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