Manic Monday

Patch came in for an uncooperative ingestion, prompting a welcoming party of several nurses, techs, and security officers waiting in the ambulance bay with restraints already tied to the stretcher.  Anticipating some PCP-ed out muscle head ready to rip the ED off its foundations, we were instead met with a short, middle-aged, slightly pudgy guy with a gigantic grin on his face.

As the triage nurse assessed the patient, her questions were met with a high-pitched, singsongy voice and a perpetually bug-eyed stare.

RN: "Sir, do you know where you are?"

Pt: "Of course!  I'm at Big City ED!  I LOVE YOU GUYS!"

RN: "Do you feel like hurting yourself or others?"

Pt: "No!  You guys are the greatest!  I LOVE YOU!"

RN: "What's bothering you right now?"

Pt: "NOTHING!  I feel FANTASTIC!"

With that much love for the ED staff, we knew he had to be on some pretty good stuff, so we weren't surprised when his tests came back positive for GHB.  Figures it would take a self-induced date rape drug for anyone to be happy to see us.