Pt: "I have a rash."
RN: "Any new foods or medications lately? Have you had this before?"
Pt: "Look, it's not like I've been shot or anything, there's no need to ask me all these questions."
RN: "Ma'am, we need to ask you these questions to figure out how to treat you..."
Pt: "I'm not answering any more questions."
* * *
Pt: "Dude, I've been waiting for hours bro and my asthma is real bad."
SS: "Yes sir, it says here that we called you twice but you didn't answer."
Pt: "Yeah, but I was outside smoking across the street. You should have come found me!"
* * *
Pt: "I have pain in my shoulder and I need an MRI."
RN: "Who said you need an MRI?"
Pt: "My doctor said I need one but he hasn't scheduled it yet."
RN: "Okay... that sounds like something you should speak to your doctor about. It's not an emergency, so there's not much we can do for you here."
Pt: "I'm here because I want to order my MRI. Can't you just give me one?"