Two of our most familiar drunks (both coincidentally sharing the same first name) arrive within minutes of each other, bringing their combined total number of visits over the last few years up to nearly 400 taxpayer-funded sojourns.
Three dental pains in a row while I worked in our fast track area (they all managed to score some narcotics for the weekend).
One patient trying to steal equipment from the trauma room by opening up procedure trays, grabbing a pair of bolt cutters, and making a run for the front door.
Despite all these contenders, the award in the category of Best Use of the Emergency Room goes to...
Angry Suit-Wearing Dad, who drags his son into the friendly neighborhood Level I Trauma Center at 2am on a Saturday, marches up to the triage desk, demands that we remove his son's braces, and gets pissed off when told that there was a four to five hour wait to be seen, and that, lacking an on-call orthodontist anxiously awaiting orthodontic emergencies at 2am, we don't remove braces in the ER.
Maybe the Dad should try stealing some bolt cutters instead?