Well, while others may be planning for pandemic flu or some other looming public health threat, we in the ER focus on a more pressing yet under-studied issue of disaster preparedness.
That's right, those cannibalistic, brain-hungry undead drones who might at any moment rise up against us. Swine flu? Get a mask, wash your hands. But zombies? Bet your hospital doesn't have a incident plan for that.
Starting around 0230 the other night, the whole ED staff from attending to tech grew embroiled in a heated debate about best practices for a potential zombie apocalypse. How could we ensure the physical security of the department? How long could we live off the hospital turkey sandwiches? Would a laryngoscope prove an effective close range weapon against a recently-deceased patient lusting for your brain?
While a summary of our findings probably won't make its way into the Annals of Emergency Medicine anytime soon, rest assured that the committed professionals of the emergency department are working 24/7 to keep you safe.