Friday, April 16, 2010

Gym, Tolerance, Laundry

RoidRageRonnie rolls into the ER with a shoulder dislocation secondary to lifting mad weights with his bros in between tanning and laundry.

With the bros at the beside, he's all like, "Whatever bro, I was lifting mad weights. Nah, it doesn't hurt."

With the bros gone, he's all like, "Hey, you guys are gonna give me good shit right? I don't wanna feel it."

With a little versed and fentanyl on board, he's all like, "Give me the morphine, man. Don't let me feel it!!"

With a little more versed and fentanyl on board, he's all like, "That nurse is really pretty. Where's the morphine, man?"

With even more versed and fentanyl on board, he's sobbing, "DON'T LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIIIIEEEEEE!"

With the help of our medical records, we're all like, "Oh he has a history of painkiller abuse. No wonder this is taking so long."

Finally, with the help of propofol, he's all like, "ZZZZzzzz."

With the shoulder reduced and his bros back, he's all like, "Whatever man, they just popped that shit back in."


selzach said...

LOL. It's always the big ones that are the wimps.

Second Shift said...

How right you are.