I'm a Big Boy Look What I Can Do...

Medicine Resident Working in the ED: [saccharine sing-songy voice] "Hi there, kiddo. Hey, can you do me a favor?"

SS: [already not liking where this is going] "Sure, what do you need."

MD: "Do you know how to take a patient's blood pressure?"

[Nearby ED resident and nurse start to chuckle]

SS: "Yeah... I think I can handle that."

MD: "Oh, and the other vital signs, too!?"

SS: "Pretty sure I can manage."

MD: "Oh goody goody. Could you check Orth-o-STATIC vital signs on a patient for me? Do you know how to do those?"

[ER resident pretends to drink from water bottle to stifle laugh, chokes on water.]

SS: "I'll do my best."

For the rest of the night, any requests made by the ER doc or nurse came in that same, high-pitch babytalk voice. Medicine Resident was even more impressed when I proved I could walk, talk, chew gum, and get accepted to medical school at the same time.