How to Empty a Waiting Room

In the event that a patient comes in with some sort of contamination, our ED has a Hazmat room that prevides a separate entrance to the department.  I've seen it used a couple times to shower off the occasional chemical spill, but it also stores equipment to set up a massive decontamination tent out in the ambulance bay.

A couple weeks ago, I went through a Hazmat training session to learn how to don the spacesuits - the paper jumpsuits with the rubber boots, portable air filters, and plastic hood that gets fogged up every time you breath.  Aside from sleeping through an hourlong monologue on radiation safety from some hospital administrator, it was actually pretty cool to try on the suits and walk around - though hopefully I'll never have to wear them in a real event.

As the group of us lumbered around the conference room feeling like we were on the moon, we realized that we had discovered a foolproof way to empty the waiting room chairs: stroll out the back, peek in through the windows from outside the ED in the suits, maybe with some yellow caution tape in hand, and time how long it takes for the stampede to make it out the front door.  

Every overcrowded Monday since, I've been sorely tempted to suit up, grab a stopwatch, and find out.