This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

First it was that idiot Plaxico Burress who shot himself in the leg when his own handgun slipped down his pants.  Now the Chicago Tribune reports that Bulls guard Derrick Rose required 10 stitches to his forearm after he rolled onto a knife he was using to eat an apple in bed.  In the ER, we have a hard enough time keeping a straight face when regular people do stupid shit like this to themselves.  I can't imagine what we'd do if a professional athlete with a multi-million dollar salary ever rolled in.