I apologize in advance for being crass, but to those who don't know, pretty much every surface in the ER have come in contact with fluids at some point, and we're not talking normal saline. From the flu victim with projectile vomit to the drunk shooting golden arches in every direction, it's all been done before. And I've come to expect it. At work. But when I come home after a night out to find stupid sots relieving themselves on the staircase of the building where I live, I become justifiably perturbed. Seriously hooligans, find a bush or something.