Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It Just Keeps Getting Better

The bathroom can be a dangerous place; wet floors, sliding bathmats and slippery showers are all just itching to finish you off, but they pale in comparison to that ultimate death trap - the toilet.  

I've posted on the diabolical machinations those pernicious pieces of plumbing peril have undertaken to ensnare their victims.  I recall a night this summer when no less than five elderly patients came in after falling off their toilet seats.  One Florida resident, however, appears to have fallen victim to the latest escalation of toilet-on-human violence:

"A man who stopped in at the DeLand police station to use the public restroom was injured when a loose toilet seat shifted, smashing his penis, police said."

In a police station no less!  But wait, there's more:

"It was painful.  I was quite traumatized when it happened... I am 250 pounds.  Imagine that, that's all my weight pushing on that."

This unfortunate gentleman, who suffered a bruise and broken skin, goes on to say that he is not the litigious type, but that a lawsuit (against the toilet?) has not been ruled out.  The article concludes with a note that reader comments have been disabled.  That is not the case here.


Jennifer Edwards said...

So, if he is sitting on the seat how is it that his penis is between the seat and the bowl? I admist I'm a woman, but this stumps me.

Second Shift said...

That's what I want to know. As a guy, I'm still trying to figure out the sequence of events here...