When Nature Calls

When you gotta go, you gotta go. I get it. Especially when you're piss drunk. Sure I'll grab you a urinal. I'll wheel you into the empty trauma bay so you can relieve yourself in private. I'll even get you that free box lunch you've been asking for all night. All I ask in return is that you actually use the urinal, and that you don't aim your pecker at the cart we use to store procedure trays. I know urine is sterile, but I guarantee you wouldn't like it if we used a tinkled-upon thoracotomy kit to crack your chest open should the need arise.