Pt: "Yo dude, I got stuff to do. Can you just give me a note for work saying I was seen here?"
Me: "No... we can't give you a work note until you've been seen by a doctor."
Pt: "But I gotta miss some days, these hemmorrhoids are killing me man."
Me: "I'm sorry sir, but if you want a note a doctor needs to see you."
Pt: "Can I just show you?"
He then proceeded to turn around, loosen his belt, unzip his pants and begin to pull them down in the middle of the waiting room before I could yell at him to stop.
He never did get his note.