Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Day in the Life

Typical busy night last night - we were short staffed, the lab was backed up, and the waiting room was full of patients who had been there since morning.  It certainly didn't help that Nearby Hospital had lost power and we were receiving all their diversions.  Working in the critical care area, I was juggling three ICU patients and one little old lady who kept asking for a cup of water every five minutes.

Still, things didn't get bad until the strong winds outside blew the helicopter off the roof.  It made a crash landing in the middle of our ambulance bay, but we were thankfully able to get everyone out moments before it exploded in a massive fireball.  The patient they were transporting, however, was having a massive MI and required ten rounds of defibrillation and an open thoracotomy before we could stabilize him for the cath lab.

Later in the evening, I stepped outside for a moment to grab some fresh air, and was nearly run over by a car swerving into the ambulance bay.  Redirecting them around the still-burning hulk of the helicopter, I opened the rear door to find a woman in active labor.  With the baby crowning and no time to call for help, I was forced to deliver in the parking lot.  While tying off the umbilical cord with my shoe string, the mother suddenly lost her airway.  Lucky I still had my pen on me, as I used it to perform an emergency cricothyrotomy.

After getting Mom and Baby safely brought up to OB, I returned just in time to hear EMS patch from the scene of a crash involving a busload of hemophiliacs.  While prepping the trauma bay, I noticed we were out of medium gloves, and headed to the supply room to grab a fresh box.  Hot Doctor and Sexy Nurse were in there going at it again, forcing me to slide around them to reach the far shelf.  Once all the trauma patients were transfused and safely up to the ICU, I was finally able to grab my thirsty old lady her water and called it a night.

5 comments:

OHN said...

Shit..I am so gullible. You had me till the hemophiliacs...though I started to say hmmmmm with the labor lady

I was even going to google the copter blowing off the pad.

God, I am such a loser.

HK said...

Channeling popular television shows now? lol. Nicely done.

Second Shift said...

Not a loser - just participating in some April Fool's fun

xtine said...

Good God. It took me way too long to figure this one out

EE said...

LOL